Do you want to lose 25 or so pounds in six months and become a sexy beast of nature? Yaaah, I bet you do. Unless of course, you’re already a skinny B, and just find this topic interesting. That is fine as well.

As we get older it’s easy to just let go. When I say just let go, I mean let goooo. We make excuses for why our hair isn’t combed (yah that was me), why our outfit doesn’t match (who cares- I’m married and if you’re not married that’s next level right there), excuses for why we can’t eat well, and lastly my favorite…excuses for why we don’t have time to work out (come on I really need to watch like 90 hours of Grey’s Anatomy!). For reals, for sure- I’m feeling you on all that right there. That was me for the last 8 years. I can even get into the whole, “but I’m depressed, this happened- that happened, so I need to eat like entire cakes to the face to make myself feel better,” thing. Yah I’ve done that too; haven’t we all?

Getting older is tough. Taking care of ourselves is tough. Sometimes it seems worthless and pointless, especially if you have kids and/or are married, or if you’re a double winner and are married and have kids. Who has the time when you’re busy wiping butt and working 40 plus hours a week slaving away? Not me and not me either.

So, how do we lose massive amounts of weight in minimal timeframes? To warn you, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or personal trainer. I’m just an average, regular girl who freaked out when she saw the scale. Also, disclaimer, there’s no proven science or medical discoveries to what I am about to say. I’m just sharing my experience and what worked for me. I hope it works for you as well.

Here’s how I did it:

1) Move More

I thought Physical Education better known as P.E. in middle school and high school was awful (mostly because I have not a single ounce of athleticism in my body- and mostly because I was constantly getting hit in the face with baseballs and the like- okay exaggeration, really it was just one time), but looking back it was probably one of the best classes we were were forced to attend. In order to get back to a healthy state, we need to go back to the basics and re-incorporate “P.E.” into our lives. We need to force ourselves like high school forced us to work out for 30-60 minutes a day or at the very minimum three days a week.

If you’re like me and are not athletic in any way shape or form, I suggest starting off by simply walking really fast (speed walking) either at the gym or around the world. Maybe start off in your neighborhood… unless your neighborhood ain’t safe, then maybe try the mall. If you have a shopping addiction then maybe try a park. Seriously, you can find a place to walk. I have faith!

As you become an expert speed walker burning off calories that used to sit idle inside your body, you can begin to burn even more calories by increasing movement by adding sprint runs in between your walks. This is especially helpful when you feel you’ve hit a wall with your weight loss; when the pounds don’t come off as easy as they did before. At each 5 pound loss increment I felt like the pounds stuck to my body like glue. That next pound just would not come off. To shed that extra incremental pound, you have to move harder and faster than you regularly do for the next couple days/weeks until that pound falls off. When this happens I suggest working out twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. I mean if you’re going to do it, then do it… you know.

For me, I personally loved working out to Youtube Videos. It is especially ideal for those of you who prefer working out in the privacy of your own homes.

Some of my favorite Youtube workout Videos are:

• Rebecca Louise (Motivational and Educational for flat tummy, abs, arms and butt)
• Fitness Blenders (10-15 minute workouts that show you how to do everything and anything)
• Medicine Ball workouts

2) Eat Well

If you think you can exercise your way into a hot bod without changing how you eat and what you eat, you might as well just chuck your phone out the window now because everything I just told you above is worthless if you don’t eat better. Have you ever went to the gym and watched people who train with personal trainers and wonder why some of them continually look the same unchanged, everyday after working out? Yep. Because you have to eat better to lose weight. Eating better for me meant that for 5 days out of the 7, I counted calories and put only nutritional and healthy foods into my body. I highly suggest downloading a calorie counting app like MyNetDairy or the more famous MyFitnessPal. Portion control is everything especially when you really NEED that chocolate chip salted caramel cookie, so I would invest in a food scale as well and some measuring cups and spoons if you don’t already own any. In reality you can eat whatever you want, as long as it is within the allotted budget. This means as long as you are eating less than what you burn off, you are good. Kind of like saving money, you won’t be broke as long as you spend less than you make. Got it? Good.

Let’s be real. Eating less of everything you would regularly eat would be hard AF. The calories inside whatever you’re eating is like a bajillion, especially if you’re eating out. If you are just eating less of whatever you were already eating, that would be a sad meal. Try having 1 chicken tender or 3 fries. It just doesn’t feel right. Instead of eating less of everything bad, eat more good foods like white meat, vegetables, and whole grains.

To increase weight loss in a short amount of time try cutting out carbs completely unless it’s whole wheat. Stay completely away from sugar and dairy. No dressings, on salads. On the real. If you are going to just throw ranch on a salad and call it a healthy meal, you might as well just drive through and grab some fast food. Instead dress it with vinegar, olive oil, or my favorite salsa. Minimize your intake of fruits while cutting and be sure to drink plenty of water, and if needed coffee (black), appetite suppressor (must I say more?). Please remember, that I am not a doctor or any kind of health professional. This is what I did for 6 months and this is what worked for me, and I hope maybe for you if you are trying to lose weight.

Everyone needs cheat days or cheat meals because come on… No one can eat that well for that long. Let’s not set ourselves up to fail. Let’s be real.

Read any other weight loss article online and they will probably most likely advise against alcohol. For me this was like hell to the NO. No way, might as well be a small chubby chick forever. Not worth it. (I hope you are picking up that I like to drink). If you want to drink, it’s ok. One shot of Tito’s Vodka is 60 calories, so throw one or two back. Hell, make it three. Whatever. If you don’t like vodka on the rocks or shots of hard liquor, red wine and champagne are good low calorie alternatives.

3) Be Positive

As you decide you want to “reshape” your body, you will find that people may make comments, ask questions, and/or seem skeptical. Just remember, it’s about you. If you want to do this, then do it. Everything else is just noise, unless it’s omg you look so hot; then that you listen to. Losing water weight counts too. Hey, if I could lose weight by shaving my hair off, I so would. Bald head, here I come. Just stay positive. Nothing is impossible. If humans can fly to Mars, you can lose weight. This is #truth.

Losing weight isn’t about being hot and looking good (OK it’s a little bit the reason), but with health issues like high blood pressure (which I had and no longer have), diabetes, heart disease and what not- being healthy is important only because we want to be ALIVE. It’s important because we want to live longer. We want to live better. We want to live a life so as not to waste away our dayz (had to throw that one in). We want to be here and part of being here is keeping healthy.

Good luck! Get it!