I just want to be happy – wake up in my mansion situated somewhere on a hill next to some really famous person like Justin Bieber or Beyoncé, drink coffee or hell… make that wine out of a golden cup, stroll out of bed in a trillion dollar silk robe to my bathroom which would be the size of a small house, then into my closet which would be the size of a slightly bigger house, and just roll around tossing name brand clothing everywhere laughing evil and singing weird songs. Dream! I’m telling you.
Finding happiness in life often times seems like a task too great to accomplish. Most of us are just going through the motions of life, instead of really living. We want and need all these things to be happy. We are always trying to Keep Up with the Kardashians, whom we declare we despise, but all secretly want to be.
We tend to measure ourselves against others who have more or less than we do, who are prettier, skinnier, wealthier, funnier, sexier, smarter and/or all of the above more than us. It’s no wonder, we can never seek to find wellness and well-being in ourselves because we are no longer focused on our own needs, but are instead obsessing over other people.
As I mentioned in my About Me (if you haven’t checked it out-um please do!). I believe that everyone has the ability to become and accomplish anything they want. I live a life that is thought out, planned out, and with direction (aka I make methodical life decisions). It’s not to say that I’m unadventurous or boring. I’m just saying, I have thought about what kind of life I want to live and what would satisfy me on my inevitable death bed. (Hence, this blogging thing).
I am not knocking people who aren’t sure what they seek out of life, or those who just live day by day and go with the flow. I just don’t want time to pass us, as we age and have a bunch of people staring down death’s throat thinking “oh, f’ing no, I never did that!” I mean, how shit would that be?
I hope to inspire people to think deeply about their passions, wants, and individual needs and to help guide people in drawing out a mental map or “business plan” on how to achieve these things, so that we may all live a life that we are proud of and be the people we always dreamed of being. That doesn’t necessarily mean everything will always work out for us, we might miss the mark, but hey, at least we tried; at least we attempted.
How I live Methodically (3 Tips for Success, maybe)
1) Think about what you want to be. This can be anything like: I want to be kind, I want to be rich (we are all for sure putting this on our list), I want to be fit, I want to be interesting. You can go deeper too: I want to be a doctor, I want to be a writer, I want to teach. This is great. Make your mental “want to be” list. Be real to yourself, don’t look to others, but really ask yourself what YOU want to be regardless of other people’s judgments and regardless of society.
2) Make small specific measurable life goals. For you business people, this concept probably sounds familiar. I feel like my life is my business, so I try to take a similar approach that businesses take in becoming successful in trying to achieve my own success. Examples of this are- For wealth goals: Save $50,000 dollars in two years. For fitness goals: lose 25 pounds in six months. For Kindness goals: Attend five community service programs in one year. For I want to teach: Have a teaching job by 2018. For Beauty Goals: Get a lip job or learn makeup contouring in five months (ridiculous, I know). For Getting Married: Go on at least one date a week. Etc…etc…etc…For reals people, my life is a series of large goals made up of tiny measurable goals. Call me crazy, but it’s working.
3) Action your goals. It means if you said you are going to save $50,000 in two years because you want to be a rich mofo, it means you actually save $50,000 in two years. To do something like this you would calculate per pay check how much you must put away and then actually put it away. It means not buying things, not going out all the time. It means sacrificing some now for an immense amount of benefit later. If you said you want to lose weight, it means going to the gym and eating better and sacrificing bomb meals. Put those goals into action and measure those goals when they come due. In two years look at your bank account and see if you won or if you failed. If you failed, I’m thinking you don’t really want to be a rich mofo… you actually just want to spend money. Nothing wrong with that. Just be honest with yourself because saying we want things we won’t work for is like asking unicorns and leprechauns to fly us around and give us pots of gold. Not real. So much unhappiness comes from saying we want something we have already decided we will never work for or never do. Instead be honest about what you want and are willing to work for and sacrifice for. This will lead to greater satisfaction. If you don’t care about being skinny and you’d rather just eat freely, then there’s no need to claim you want to be skinnier. You’re fine. Eat what you want and be happy with your current weight. There is no reason to pressure yourself.
Happiness is not a competition; therefore, comparisons to other people is of no use. Instead make the goals you have about yourself. Measure and compare against yourself.
Hard work, sacrifice and patience is all it takes to get where you want. Maybe I’ll never live in a mansion on a hill, next to JB and Bey, drinking wine out of gold cups, in a trillion dollar silk robe, tossing name brand clothing around my massive closet laughing evil and singing weird songs, but I might get farther in my life and be closer to the dream than if I didn’t think about it and work towards it in a methodical and thought out way. I might then look at my single story house, with its regular wine glasses, and average closet and nod and say to myself, “hey you ain’t doing so bad!”